I sent this email to the mayor of Flagstaff, Arizona a little while ago. I have yet to receive a response.

Dear Mrs. Mayor,

Hello! My name is Justin Becker. Recently I had the great pleasure of visiting the fine city of Flaggstaff and partaking in the breathtaking nature, exciting night-life, and vibrant cultural scene that rivals any in Arizona and indeed the greater, lower, Southwestern United States. I write to you today not just as a Flaggstaff fan, but also in my capacity as the owner and CEO of Dynamism.wow Industries (pronounced dynamism dot wow). Dynamism.wow is a leader in global marketing, specializing in dynamic, out-of-the box thinking and actions. We’ve worked with a diverse array of clients ranging from Mr. Pibb to the new Khmer Rouge party.

Increasingly though, we’ve looked locally for new business ventures and have been working with chambers of commerce all across the state.  In these troubled financial times, many cities have found it necessary to look for more creative tactics in courting the ever-dwindling tourist dollar, which is a service that Dynamism.wow Industries is especially capable of providing. We would very much like to work with Flaggstaff, Az.

I could tell you more about Dynamism.wow’s sterling track record, or inundate you with charts illustrating the increased share of the tourism market that Flaggstaff is capable of, but I’ll let our ideas speak for themselves. We’re confident that our ideas are so revolutionary and irresistible that the first one is on the house:

Change the name of Flaggstaff, Arizona to FUNSTUFF, Arizona.

Yes, you read that correctly. And yes, all caps.

Socrates once said that the simplest ideas are the best, which is a philosophy that we here at Dynamism.wow subscribe to. FUNSTUFF is a name that commands attention and projects the forward-thinking, exciting feel of your wonderful town.  It lets tourists know precisely and unequivocally what they are in for if they come to visit. Fun. F-U-N. And for you, those three little letters mean making money hand over fist.

It’s a name for the 21st Century by the 21st Century.

Now I know it’s a radical idea- Wikipedia tells me that your town has been named Flaggstaff since 1876. That’s a lot of history there. But Wikipedia also tells me that it was named “Flaggstaff” after a literal flagpole. A piece of wood. With all due respect Mrs. Mayor, it’s 2011.  Sticks won’t cut it any more.

But allow me to illustrate my point in a different way. Here is a hypothetical conversation:

• MAN: Boy, I really want to go on vacation in Arizona, but I don’t know where the fun places are. Honey, could you hand me that map?
• WIFE: Here you are.
• MAN: Thanks… hmm… say this town’s name is “FUNSTUFF!” Let’s go there! Fun is in the name!
• WIFE: Sounds great!

Unfortunately though, that is a hypothetical conversation. Here is a conversation you are much more likely to hear:

• MAN: Boy, I really want to go on vacation in Arizona, but I don’t know where the fun places are. Honey, could you hand me that map?
• WIFE: Here you are.
• MAN: Thanks… hmm… Phoenix. I guess we’ll go there. I have no reason not to.
• WIFE: Sigh.

The differences are obvious. We here at Dynamism.wow Industries wait to hear from you. Believe me when I say that this is just the tip of the iceberg of ideas we have ready to revolutionize your fair city.

Sincerely,

Justin Becker